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Childhood Misconceptions
Nov/30/09 19:34
Today on the plane I was thinking about
things I used to think were true when I was
a kid, but later realized were way off.
Here are a few that I thought of:
I was watching Barney Miller (an old cop/detective show with no "enhance/enhance/enhance" scenes) with my dad one day. I think I was eight or nine years old. So in the show, they arrested a prostitute. I asked my dad, "Dad, what's a prostitute?" Long pause. "It's a woman who sells her potty on the street." Now, rather than thinking of the word "potty" was referring to her vagina (which is the way my dad was using it), I thought he meant "It's a woman who sells her urine on the street." This completely baffled me, because all I could think of was some lady dressed up all crazy with a little t.v. tray selling plastic cups filled with urine for 25 cents each, like a lemonade stand. It made no sense to me because I kept thinking, "Why would people buy her potty when they make their own?"
I thought waves in a lake were caused by fish swimming with their noses close to the surface of the water.
I thought the alphabet was M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z A B C D E F G H I J K L for a long time because I had a toy box with half the alphabet on one section of the lid and half on the other section. I didn't know they were in the wrong order, so I just memorized them the way they were lined up.
I used to think that the minute hand on the clock would only move when I wasn’t looking. I’d look at the clock, leave the room for a while, then come back in and it had moved! I would watch it and couldn’t see it move. So I’d leave again, come back, and it moved again! I finally climbed up on a chair, took the clock down, and watched it very closely before I figured out it was just moving really slowly.
I used to be afraid of washing my hands while the toilet was running. I thought the water going down the toilet was coming out of the sink.
I used to think that kids were dumb and that adults were all really, really smart, and that if I wanted to be an adult, I had to learn as much as I could as quickly as possible. I definitely thought that in order to be a parent you had to know just about everything, so I saw it as my duty to learn everything so that I could be a good parent.
Got any funny misconceptions from your childhood?
I was watching Barney Miller (an old cop/detective show with no "enhance/enhance/enhance" scenes) with my dad one day. I think I was eight or nine years old. So in the show, they arrested a prostitute. I asked my dad, "Dad, what's a prostitute?" Long pause. "It's a woman who sells her potty on the street." Now, rather than thinking of the word "potty" was referring to her vagina (which is the way my dad was using it), I thought he meant "It's a woman who sells her urine on the street." This completely baffled me, because all I could think of was some lady dressed up all crazy with a little t.v. tray selling plastic cups filled with urine for 25 cents each, like a lemonade stand. It made no sense to me because I kept thinking, "Why would people buy her potty when they make their own?"
I thought waves in a lake were caused by fish swimming with their noses close to the surface of the water.
I thought the alphabet was M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z A B C D E F G H I J K L for a long time because I had a toy box with half the alphabet on one section of the lid and half on the other section. I didn't know they were in the wrong order, so I just memorized them the way they were lined up.
I used to think that the minute hand on the clock would only move when I wasn’t looking. I’d look at the clock, leave the room for a while, then come back in and it had moved! I would watch it and couldn’t see it move. So I’d leave again, come back, and it moved again! I finally climbed up on a chair, took the clock down, and watched it very closely before I figured out it was just moving really slowly.
I used to be afraid of washing my hands while the toilet was running. I thought the water going down the toilet was coming out of the sink.
I used to think that kids were dumb and that adults were all really, really smart, and that if I wanted to be an adult, I had to learn as much as I could as quickly as possible. I definitely thought that in order to be a parent you had to know just about everything, so I saw it as my duty to learn everything so that I could be a good parent.
Got any funny misconceptions from your childhood?
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